Gossip, drama, handbags & True Blood!

Right, here's some gossip for you all! heh. As you guys know (or at least those of you that pay any kind of attention whatsoever to this blog do), I have had Agoraphobia for 17yrs. In that time, I obviously became something of a hermit/recluse. I never had any friends or spoke to anyone (other than my mother from time to time). Now I am getting over the Agoraphobia and now a much more sociable person, I find myself opening up a lot more and chatting to people (especially online). But all those years of not really talking to anyone, has left me very socially inept it would appear. I'm maybe not the most tactile of people when it comes to making jokes or 'saying the right thing'. But I am learning and I am trying. Still, there doesn't seem to be a week that goes by where I am not upsetting someone or the other on Facebook that I class as a friend. And end up getting deleted in the process (I swear my friends list is going down quicker than Amy Childs at a drunken party for single billionaires). And yet again, it happened last night....

A woman that was in my class in High School and now a "Facebook Friend" that I had recently been having a laugh with of late, posted a status last night saying "I'm stewing..". So, I replied to it with "Oooh, beef & dumplings?!". Then someone else asked her what was up, and she said something about being pissed off or something. So I then just added "Or is it Chicken, Irish, or Ratatouille?!" and didn't think anything else of it. Then this morning, I wake to find that she has deleted me off of Facebook and sent me this following mail:

6 hours ago

Sarah Shaw

• Hi do u really think it's fair to publicly take the piss out of my problems? I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate someone doing the same to you!
  It makes it worse that my problem started very much like yours 15 yrs ago and I'm still getting the shit just because my daughter isn't a baby it doesn't make it hurt any less you should think about how you would feel before trampling all over someone elses feelings

 So I replied with:

• 
  

  53 minutes ago

  Mark McGarry

  • Hello. No-one was 'publicly taking the piss out of your problems'. "it doesn't make it hurt any less you should think about how you would feel before trampling all over someone elses feelings" Are you serious? You put that you were "stewing" (which means "to undergo cooking by simmering or slow boiling"). So I asumed you were a little pissed off with something, so I tried to keep things light-hearted and defuse the situation a little with some humour and simply asked what kind of stew you were making "chicken, beef, etc".... How you can say that you are hurt by this and that I have trampled all over your feelings and have publicly taken the piss out of your feelings is a massive over-reaction on your part. I have no idea why you have taken such a little, light-hearted, non personal comment and turned it into something much bigger? As you said, you were stewing, perhaps you just needed someone to take it all out on (especially with me being a man!). I have no idea. But in future, if you don't want people to pass comment on your personal life, then I suggest that you don't keep putting it all over Facebook. A place where anyone can pass comment. I see you have also deleted me for asking "what kind of stew?". As I said, ridiculous and a total over-reaction. But once again, I wish you good luck with your future and I hope you soon get all your problems sorted. As it seems to be ruining your life at the moment and you are bringing other people down in the process. Regards, Mark.

Heck, this is already a longass blog, so I may as well paste the rest of the convo!

• Sarah Shaw:

  • You were taking the piss any idiot could see I wasn't on about cooking you even continued after I said I was pissed off I aren't taking my problems out on anyone
  • I can make light of a lot of things and laugh at myself but I would never try to make light of your situation with your son so why do it with me? I was letting off steam on my status as do a lot of people some even write a whole blog about their problems think I'm entitled to two words don't you
• 
  

  38 minutes ago

  Mark McGarry

  • How could I be taking the piss out of your problems when I had no idea about them or what was going on?! I simply made a couple of little jokes re:stewing & cooking. Maybe in a few days time when things have calmed down a bit, you might see just how badly you have over-reacted to it. You say you have so much shit going on in your life at the moment (as you know, so do I). So I was just trying to keep things light-hearted and make a little joke. Not at your problems, as I am not aware of them. Just in general. I was trying to make you smile/laugh a little. Trying to cheer you up. As a friend. It obviously didn't work...
• 
  

  36 minutes ago

  Sarah Shaw

  • But when someone is obviously annoyed about something is this really the right time to make a joke? I think not let's just say on one of ur status's about your son I cracked a joke would u think it was funny I doubt it
• 
  

  33 minutes ago

  Mark McGarry

  • Yes, you are entitled to two words of course.. Am I not allowed a couple of words myself to ask "chicken or beef"? It was a joke. lighten-up and stop being such a dramaqueen. And how you can compare a me making a slight joke on your status saying that you are stewing to making a comment on a status about my son is completely different and very personal. Where my comment wasn't...
• 
  

  32 minutes ago

  Sarah Shaw

  • I really do hope you don't have to fight for your child for 15 yrs but if you do you might just understand that this isn't something I find funny in the least neither is it something I have any control over and every now and again I have a few days maybe weeks where I let off steam especially times like now when I've got other things to deal with
• 
  

  18 minutes ago

  Sarah Shaw

  • It's only different because it's about u so me having problems is me being a drama queen? U really are a self centred idiot i really can't be bothered with this shit and I certainly don't need it!!

And she blocked me after that....

So, anyhow. All silly handbags and un-necessary drama if you ask me. The only reason I am showing the conversation, is because this kind of thing is happening to me. A lot... I seem to have an uncanny nack for "pissing people off". I want to know where you guys think that I am going wrong. Set me straight. As I am sick of this kind of thing happening over and over again. I don't think I am a bad person in the slightest, so it's starting to worry me. Normally I wouldn't show a private conversation that I have with someone. But there's nothing really personal here. And she's blocked and deleted me now anyways. Now, I know that Sarah & I have a lot of mutual friends on Facebook (that we both went to school with), so I'm sure I will probably get a lot of abuse from people defending her. Or at least pointing her in the direction of this blog. That is fine. I'm not bad-mouthing her. The opposite actually. I am just trying to find out where I am going wrong. So any comments on here would be greatly appreciated!

Recently I lost my laptop for a few days due to a virus that wiped everything (including windows), so had some spare time and watched all four seasons of True Blood. I am really loving the show and can't wait to next summer for season 5. I have to say 'Jessica' the vampire from the show is my current crush (played by Deborah Ann Woll). I'm sure you are all extremely happy that I told you that, I know, and you're very welcome! She can bite me and suck me dry anytime she wants to! Does anybody else watch the show?! Who is your favourite character? What do you think of the various seasons?!

Anyways, Happy Halloween folks! I hope you all have a great time! Please feel free to leave any comments and I will return with some more rantings soon enough!  

You poor bastards.....

Sick buckets, Lady Gaga penis, and Facebook pokes! (my idea of a good night!)

Well hello again folks! Sorry it has been so long since I last blogged (I only am doing so today as I have been ordered to by Ms. Hammond & Ms. Whitehead on Facebook!). I've wanted to update for the past week or so, but really haven't had anything to blog about. Due to my "condition" mentioned in my first blog, I rarely ever get up to much. The highlight of my week/fortnight is going food shopping at Asda. And to be honest, I only really want to blog about things that I think people may actually find to be of slight interest. I'm not going to ramble on just for the sake of it and lose the three readers that I actually have right now! So expect my blogs to be very few and far between! :)

I finally got around to watching the first couple of episodes of "Gavin & Stacey" the other night when it gave me something of a "Bridget Jones" moment. I suddenly realised that I am going to be 35yrs old in February. As people keep telling me (Hi mum!), I should be settled down by now with a nice girl and a family. Being a recovering Agoraphobic, you become accustomed to that way of life. I was pretty much a hermit recluse and didn't mind my own company. I never went anywhere or did anything. Never saw anyone else. Lived on my computer and never got lonely. Now I am recovering from the Agoraphobia and am generally a much more sociable person, for the first time in my life I a lonely (that sounds pathetic to write!). I can actually hear the sound of 100 violins playing sympathetic music (and 100 women vomitting into buckets...). I am starting to miss the simple, everyday things in life like a simple 'hug' (it's been the best part of a year since I last had one off of anyone!). To be honest, it would probably end up giving me an erection it's been so long since I've had any sort of physical contact! (let's hope my mum doesn't offer me one anytime soon!). You know things are pretty bad in life when the only form of physical contact that you ever get is a 'Poke' on 'Facebook'!

So anyways, enough of the desperation and cringeworthy talk! And more talk about 'Lady Gaga's PeePee!'. I had no idea what to blog about (as mentioned earlier), so asked for topics to discuss from my friends on 'Facebook'. Donna Whitehead asked me to blog about Lady Gaga's Penis, so who am I to ignore my three reader's requests?! :) So does she have a penis? I've been researching this now (no idea why, but it's something to pass the time right?!) and have come across a couple of videos (not in that sense you filthy swines!)...

Now, you can clearly see it at the 1min mark when she steps off of the bike and pulls down her dress. Maybe it's real, maybe it's fake. Maybe she/he/it put a fake one there as a joke to further fuel the rumour-mill. Who knows? This is really old news and I won't go over it any further. I really couldn't care less if she has a vagina, a penis, a mangina, both, or nothing there at all! Whatever she has there, then I say embrace it! If it's a penis, then embrace your penis Gaga! I know that I do most nights! (Mine, not hers, just so that we're clear....).

Well. that's enough talk about peniseseses, it's left me feeling a little queer (as in odd/strange!). I actually really don't know where to go with this blog now?! Maybe it's best if we just leave it here? Quietly slip away, wash our hands, forget this ever happened and get back to wasting our lives away on Facebook!

Until we meet again, ciao for now!

What's the score with my baby boy?!

Howdy again folks! Well, this is my second and most likely final "personal" blog for the time being. I've used the internet daily since I was 18 (I am 34 now). And this blog is the first place I have never put private, personal information about myself and my life on the internet. I have never agreed with people that air and share their problems and personal lives all over the internet. Especially in extremely public places (for example 'Facebook'). I don't agree with it and feel I am being something of a hypocrite in making this blog so personal, but at least no-one reads it! So I guess I am okay for now!

I am feeling very sad today. Things are finally starting to get on top of me with my baby boy Benjamin. I have to be careful what I put here, as the case is currently in the hands of the solicitors and waiting to go to court. And my ex (Benjamin's mother) stalks me all over the internet watching everything that I say and do, hoping that I put something that she can use against me. I don't want to say or do anything that she can use against me and that might stand a chance of being detrimental to my case. But anyways, I have been feeling very sad. I have seen my baby boy for only one weekend since the beginning of January (sometime in the middle of March). We are now in October. So that is one weekend in ten months. And still, everynight, I stay up until 4am-5am on my computer. Until I am physically exhausted before I go to sleep. If I go to bed any earlier, then I just lay there thinking about him. Even now there is not a day that goes by where I don't shed tears over him. Especially when looking at photos or videos that I have in my mass collection!

I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or get into any trouble. I've never been drunk before in my life, never been in a fight, never been in any trouble with the law. I hate lies. The only lie I have ever told was when I was at school and I used to lie to my mum that I had eaten all my lunch when really I had thrown it in the bin on the way home! I think I am a pretty good role-model. He is everything I have ever wanted. There is so many things I could say about his mother that could go against her, but I won't. This is about Benjamin. But anyways, here I am having to fight with everything I have to see my baby boy. My own flesh and blood. My first born. My son. Heck, he even has my surname! Why am I having to fight like this? What gives a bunch of strangers the right to decide if and when I can see my son (if ever?!). I could understand if I was a criminal or if his health and safety was at risk. In the short time I have had with him last year (before he's been pretty much kidnapped away from me). We have bonded so well. He's a daddy's boy. And I have been pretty near the perfect dad to him. Whenever my ex had hold of him and he wouldn't settle and would be crying the place down, I would take ahold of him. And immediately he would stop all the crying and most of the time end up with a cheeky little grin, he had his daddy and I had my boy.

The laws in this country regarding fathers need to be changed. As a father, we pretty much have no rights at all. The courts side 100% with the mother (unlike in other countries where the laws have recently been updated). Why are we still so behind in this country? It shouldn't be about gender, it should be about who would be the best and most beneficial parent to our children. Other than breastmilk, what can a bad mother give a child that a brilliant father can not?!

My ex has recently changed her mobile number so I can't text her and ask how Benjamin is. She has blocked me on Facebook, so I can't ask there. She won't answer her landline so that I can ask or even talk to Ben. She won't log on MSN or put her webcam on for me to see him just for 2mins or send me any updated photos of him. So this is getting me down also. I even tried going to Mediation to see if we could come to some agreement with regards to me seeing Ben, but she didn't turn up. Which is now why it is waiting to go to court. Anyways, I will never, ever stop fighting to see my baby boy. The only problem is my Agoraphobia (as mentioned in my previous blog). My ex and baby boy, live a 3hr train journey away from me (6hrs there and back!). There is no way on Earth that I can do that with my phobias. No matter how badly I want to see him. It's so frustrating. And as my solicitor said, the courts can't force my ex to bring Benjamin down to me. So it looks like I will not get anywhere. The best I can apparently hope for is to do the 3 hour journey up there, see him for one hour (supervised) at a stupid contact centre (indeed, what the hell?!), and then a 3hr journey back. All in one day. Once or twice a month. Ben is not going to get to know me again and bond in that allotted time. And as I said, no matter how hard I try, I can not do that travelling. Maybe I have lost my baby boy for good? Who knows, but I will continue to fight all the while I continue to breathe....

 

(Please ignore the stupid High Pitched baby talk that I am doing with my boy in this video. He has an effect on me! It's annoying I know! I do apologise!).

Oh and blame Toys 'R' Us for the Pink Glo-Worm. I order him a load of stuff for Christmas from there. I asked for a blue one and they sent the pink one. But Ben loved it all the same! :)